No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
