Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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