I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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