what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
