My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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