you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
