What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
