Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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