Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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