lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
