I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
