I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
