Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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