you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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