y did u give ur computer a hand job?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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