my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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