You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
