Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
