Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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