Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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