When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
