Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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