i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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