Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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