He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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