Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
