I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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