That's intense
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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