Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I skipped work to stalk him.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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