Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
