I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
