So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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