Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
