Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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