yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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