Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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