I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
