your thong is hanging out like whoa
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
