This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
