just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
