I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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