Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
