Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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