Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
