Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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