You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Come share oat with me in your robe
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
