Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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