is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
