Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
