pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
