I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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